Disposition/ The Mountains of Honduras

Before we left in January, I ordered a Key for the Journey, and the key I received had the word Come written on it. It was given to me right after a lesson talking about Peter walking on water and Jesus telling him to come. Jesus invited Peter to join Him in the supernatural. Since that day the word come has followed me around. Whenever I think I’ve realized what it means for me, more meaning is added.

In Costa Rica, I struggled a lot in knowing truth about myself and God. The word come invited me to relearn truths about God. It pushed me to come back to Him. I was angry. I was scared. But a friend recommended the song Come Home by Eleventh Hour Worship to me. In it, it says:

Come running to the arms of the Father

Leave everything behind

There’s a rest in the arms of the Father

No matter who you are

…

He says Come Home

In the midst of fear, anger and doubt, I slowly started to see God’s truth. I didn’t/don’t completely understand it, but I began to find the rest and peace that only He can provide.

As we transitioned into Guatemala, I was first overwhelmed by God’s beauty and just being in His presence. Literally everything would make me want to cry (in a good way). I began to experience God in new ways/ feel Holy Spirit working around me. It became a restful time where I was able to just live in the comforts God provided.

Towards the end of our two months, I spent a morning at an overlook thinking over the past few months and talking to God. During that time, He added a word to the one He began my race with. Come and Surrender.

I like to have control of things or at least know how things are going to work out, so that’s how I live a lot of my life and my walk with God. Because of this, I take little risks. But what kind of faith is that? I wish I could say I’ve gotten better at this, but I’m still struggling to let go of that fear. I know once I do, God will ask a lot more of me. And I’m not sure if I’m willing to do what He asks. (I’m really good at being a Jonah)

One of our last nights in Guatemala, we were riding in the car with our ministry host and talking about Worship Room and what we have loved about it. One thing I loved about Worship Room was their heart for people and just the way they welcomed us in. In their ministry, their focus isn’t on money or numbers but simply on worshipping God and pouring His love out to the community. They gave what they had and did it wholeheartedly. It was such an inspiration to me, and I hope to one day be like them.

We are now in Honduras where we are living on a mountain with no electricity, bucket flushing toilets and really cold showers. We sleep in our tents and have manual labor jobs each work day. It’s a ministry placement of abandonment and surrender. In Guatemala my team was constantly encouraged by people’s remarks of our disposition- which I had no idea the meaning of. But now that I know what it means, I can see how much I learned from my Guatemalan family in coming to God and each situation with a sweet and peaceful disposition. And now we are in a harder two months of ministry where our disposition can easily be just the opposite. But if we surrender and stay in tune with God and His will, our disposition doesn’t have to change. We can still have a Christ like attitude even when the days are hard and long or we are still hungry after a meal.

This time in Honduras is teaching me what it means to fully lean into God and see His work. I am beginning to learn what it means to live simply and to rely on God as my main source of strength and comfort. So even though it can be hard living on top of a mountain that we hardly get to leave (it takes an hour to get to the bottom of the mountain into the city & we can only leave if it isn’t raining or else the trucks can’t make it up), it is such a sweet time to grow closer as a squad and for me to really press into what God means when He tells me to Come and Surrender.