Good, Good Father

Enter his gates with thanksgiving

    and his courts with praise;

    give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;

    his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Psalm 100: 4-5

For the past few months, I’ve been questioning God. I’m living in Memphis and working in Human Resources – two things I never dreamed of doing. The transition was rough. While I still don’t know clearly what my dreams are, last year helped give me a bit clearer picture of the direction I want to go. Yet here I am…

It isn’t uncommon for people to pray that God fulfills His promises, but I couldn’t help wondering: What are God’s promises? Not what am I hoping His promise for my life is but promises He has actually given us. This started weighing on me, so I spent a Saturday fasting and praying. God brought me to several verses, and if I’m being honest, it wasn’t what I was hoping for.

John 3:16 “For God loved the world in this way: He gave his one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in him will not perish but have eternal life.” A “classic” verse – probably the first verse any of us memorize. Truthfully, most of the verses I read dealt with Jesus coming to earth, the promise of eternal life with God if we trust and believe in Jesus, and that He is ruler over all.  Okay, God. I know these things…  Why this verse/this theme?

As it turns out, I needed these verses. While I thought I was wrestling with His promises, I was actually wrestling with His goodness. The funny thing is I thought I had already figured all that out. Back in January, our small group asked the question: Is there a promise of God (there’s that word again) you have a hard time believing? In my journal I wrote, 

God’s goodness. It’s hard to believe He is good when bad things happen. I know He works it all for His glory. I know there is “bad” in the world because of sin. I was thinking how the Bible says even the earth declares His glory. On the way to Memphis, the sun was setting and it was absolutely gorgeous. I was thanking God for it, but I also can’t “feel/see” His glory in it – yet, I want to. I want it to be more than just a pretty sunset. I’ve always wondered why I love nature and its beauty, but I can’t see God’s glory in it. I’ve known in part because how could so much beauty come in such a broken world? Why would this be “good” when there’s so much “bad”? I have a misunderstanding of God’s goodness. I can’t fully see His glory, because I don’t see His goodness.

Now, the months passed with me not giving much more thought to the matter and in April I accepted and started my position in Human Resources. In May I moved to Memphis and am living with some girls I met through the Young Adults conference I randomly decided to go on in December. In a few short weeks, I will be starting a Biblical discipleship training that is literally halfway between where I live and where I work (meaning I can easily make it to work after our early morning classes). 

Everything has fallen into place, so I can’t help but see God’s hand in it all. Even knowing that and knowing this is where He has called me, I couldn’t help but wonder about those desires/dreams I have. As I was journaling and praying one day, I wrote the question that has stuck with me. How am I viewing God in the midst of this (my current situation/struggle)? Am I trusting Him? Or am I believing He is withholding His goodness from me? 

Ah, yes. It’s not His promises I struggle trusting. It’s His goodness. What does “God is good” mean to me? Truly? First I must grasp an understanding of His goodness and then I must trust in that goodness.

Pat Barret’s song Sparrow and Lilies has been a frequent on my playlist lately. The lyrics have really stuck with me:

I have seen the lily dancing with the wind 

Open to the sunshine 

Open to the rain 

Dressed in all her beauty 

Given what she needs 

If I listen closely I can hear her sing to me

God takes care of the birds and the wildflowers. How much more will He take care of me? No, that doesn’t mean He will give me all my wants and desires, but He will fill me and sustain me. In Him, I have everything. Why? Because God is good.

*Cue Josh Baldwin’s Evidence

(Sorry I don’t know how to create my own blog, so I revived the WR blog for one more post)